A twist of O’Henry

An O’Henry story shortened and mimicked as a tribute.

 

The bum was cold and hungry. It was Chicago and the wind invaded his meager jacket with a fury that put chills on his goose bumps. He was so hungry he could eat the goose bumps.

You could count his ribs for they was no meat to him.

God, what he would give for a refuge against the cold and a full belly.

He walked past a jewelry store and then his mind worked. Like a light bulb the thought entered his gray matter. If he picked up a rock and threw it into the window of this store the police would arrest him. They would take him to the jail and there he would be feed and out of the cold.

It took only seconds but he found the perfect rock. He heaved it with all his might. The glass shattered and he smiled as he knew that salvation was just around the corner.

The guard from the store rushed out. But instead of being arrested he was ushered into the store.

It seemed that the rock knocked out the robber just as he pulled out his gun. He was a hero.

The store awarded him with enough money to buy a good meal and a hotel room.

They talked the security company into hiring him for work as a security guard.

The rock sits now in his den. A tribute to a changed life. He calls it his “Rock of Ages.”

Hail the conquering hero!

Why do we climb mountains, swim rivers and soar in the sky?

Are we born with an innate desire to ascend, descend and fly?

Do we have triggers in our bodies that tell us to do these things?

Are we born with the desire to orbit the stars and see Saturn’s rings?

 

Do we cross the road like the chicken story and look on the other side?

Is it the Daniel Boone symptom to seek the unknown and go west where it is wild?

Is it a self-preserving emotion that gets us to match up and go out on a limb?

Is it the craving inside of all of us that gets us to walk on the razor so thin?

 

And to what purpose is it? What are the rationales that determine our madness?

And if we succeed the triumph and if we fail the utter sadness.

We have this desire to do and yet the hesitation is there.

Those who have overcome and dared, no backsteps, acting with little care.

We scale, we jump, we run, we fight, we do all the things that our brain should indicate fright.

Yet we conquer our fears, pull up the boot straps and get in the sync and stand proud when we have victory and grimace when we sink.

Mad Men and Congress

Mad Men needs to work on selling the American Public into believing in Congress.

How would they do it? What actor or actresses would play the roles, who would emote and who would suppress?

What action would they depict? Enacting the laws is boring and non plus.

Would they show a Democrat in the face of a Republican and the mudslinging and the fuss?

 

And then the cum de la crème, the vote on a major issue and the yeas and no’s counted one by one.

The looks on the faces of the people in charge, the looks of the awe and the complex dumb.

 

Would the Public tune in and watch hours of non plus television in Color with background music in the key of G.

Would the commentators go word for word and interview a person when they go to pee.

Oh wait this is done on a channel devoted to Congress showing all the ins and outs.

The problem is it is viewed by a small minority of people who live in fear and doubt.

Passing the torch

We the baby boomers of World War Two,

Now pass the torch of change from us to you.

We were the group who grew up and rebelled,

We chanted, marched, rallied and yelled.

What good did it do, well we can count a win or two

Women gained the right to work and express their view.

Minority rights became the law of the land,

People of all sorts could express and make a stand.

Technology bloomed, diseases cured, and new inventions abound,

The computer revolutionized industry and new things were found.

The problem is as new things came up, more problems occurred,

Some of our goals and thoughts became complex and blurred.

So now it is your turn, have a go and try to be true,

We have left a lot of problems for you to do.

 

A dream.

 

        He was at the bar with five drinks in front of him. Three had already been downed and he was working on the fourth. A man appeared on his left side.

     “How long do you have to wait for service,”   this man asked out loud.

       “Well, Bill is down at the other end and he will be over soon.”

       “Hi, my name is John, what’s yours?”

       The man with the five drinks did not want to give his name but what else could he do. He was not looking for a BFF or even a casual conversation.   But against his best judgment he said, “My name is Henry.”

       “It’s funny I do not remember dreaming this last night” John mumbled.

       “Dreamed this. What do you mean?” Henry responded without thinking. Now you gave him permission to talk. Boy did you step in it, he thought.

       “In the last few weeks I dream something and then the next day it comes true. The only thing is there is usually a twist involved.”

         Henry did not respond but to his regret John kept talking.

         “It is like three weeks ago, I dreamed I was going to get a $100 scratch off. So I run to a convenience store to buy one.” he waited for a response but Henry was quiet. John continued anyway, “Well, I scratched it and just won $2 and figured the dream was wrong. But then I went outside to my car and there right by the door to my car was a scratch off. I picked it up and guess what?

     Henry did not want to respond but maybe if he humored John he would stop. “What?”

     “You are not going to believe this but the person before me had scratched off the ticket but missed scratching off the bottom. There was a second set of numbers on the bottom. I scratched it and won, you guessed it, $100 dollars. What do you think of that?

     “Just a coincidence” Henry said.

     “Maybe but the next week. I dreamed that I was going to be fired from my job.”

     “Well that is not a dream but a nightmare.”

     “That is what I was thinking, and sure enough the next day I was called to the big supervisor’s office. I thought my goose was cooked.”

     “Well did they fire you?” Henry figured this would eventually end with a yes.

     “Kind of. You see my immediate supervisor was caught with his hands in the till so he was terminated and I was promoted to his job.”

       “How does that fit into your dream?”

       “Well I was terminated from my basic job because of the promotion.”

       “I think you are kind of stretching your interpretation of your dream.”

       “Maybe but then last night I had a beaut of a dream.”

       “Okay I will bite. What did you dream?”

       “I had another of those dreams. I was in a bad auto accident. So today I left my car at home and took the subway instead.”

       “I hate to say it but a subway has separate cars.”

 

     “Yeah, I thought of that after I got out at my exit. Then I exited and started to walk to my office building. I was half way there when I had to stop for a red light. A giant car mover trailer filled to the brim with cars going to a dealership drove past me. The driver drove to fast for the turn and swerved.” John hesitated.

     “Well, what happened?” asked Henry

     “That’s all I remember, next I was next to you.”

     “Well that answers my question.”

     “What question is that?”

     “I also have dreams and last night I dreamed I was at the bar nursing down five drinks when a stranger started to tell me three stories about dreams he had.”

     “Wow that is weird.”

     “No the weird part is this. Remember your last thought of what happened when the trailer with the cars on it swerved.”

     “Yeah.”

     “The answer is right in front of you. Look in the mirror behind the bar. What do you see?”

     “Oh, my God, I see you but where am I?”

     “A car accident dream. Well now you do not have to worry about the dreams anymore.” Henry said finishing the fifth drink. He turned and walked out of the bar. Before going out the door he looked back but John had disappeared. But he figured that out because it was exactly what he had dreamed the night before.

 

 

We are a confused lot said the realitor.

Are you the inside man or woman

The person who can do it

The one that everyone goes to

The one that is dependable

 

Or are you the one that is to be avoided

Or people cross the street so they do not meet you.

Or the one no one calls

Or the one that no one sits next to

 

Is there a middle road

Are you the middle person?

The one who shifts back and forth

The one who says what people want to hear.

 

We are a complex animal

One that wants love and sometimes goes to the extreme

One that wants total commitment or just a pass in the ocean of social affairs.

One that agrees that love is a fleeting shot in the dark good for a spin on the wheel

 

We move in a ways that defy logic

What is good one day is not good the next day

And yet we have the meeting of the minds

We have direction and yet get lost in the mayhem.

 

Behold man the confused beast with a brain

The man who on days can be sane or insane.

We are round and lost in the fog of lines.

 

 

The Glut of man.

“You will eat anything,” said the cow to the Billy Goat.

“Not at all,” the goat burped with the flavor of the shoe on his lips.

The cow munched on the cud and thought the remark over.

“I am not sure who is worse in habits, you or the pig?”

The pig looked up offended. “I admit I eat slop but the goat will eat the buttons off a coat and then the coat.”

“I have you all beat said the human. I will eat the goat, the cow and the pig.”

The three nodded in fear for they realized the human was the worse and hoped he would not pick one of them for diner.

Fortunately goosey came by and within seconds became the bon appetite for the night.

Person who harps

Why Does the People who love us have to Harp?

 

It is bad enough when you are right but then you continue to gloat,

You harp on and on and force the fact you are right down my throat.

 

It does not matter what the subject is or whether it matters or not,

I just resent it like hell when you constantly act like the big shot.

 

You won the battle now rub my nose in it till it is raw and bloody,

It is a clear cut victory for you and now I am battered and muddy.

 

I need a break to come back to a semblance of ego,

I need a win of some sorts, a moment to say BINGO.

 

So the next time we fight for whatever the cause or the fact,

Give me a chance to win, make this a kind of conciliatory act.

 

Remember I need a win for the Gipper in me,

Something I can put under my Christmas tree.

 

Okay I will admit you win in ninety percent of the cases that is true,

But let me win once in a while and remember that it because I love you.

Around the mulberry bush and the bush is dying.

Around and around we go and we know where we are going to stop.

Exactly where we started that is where and what have we accomplished?

Energy wasted and time spent. Money we could have saved spent and we still have not learned much.

Do not read on if you are into politically correct.

 

I empathize and I feel sad for the dead of the airplane missing somewhere in the Pacific or Indian Ocean. But enough already.

We are into closure but that is a lot of BS. Do we really care that the dead is known and properly buried? Are we really going to spend the money necessary to find that airplane and people are going hungry in country after country?

It is a waste of time, money and sorrow. We need to put on big boy pants and say enough is enough.

 

We spend fortunes for nada. Iraq and Afghanistan are a waste of human consumption. We need to make laws that govern our country and secure it. No longer open borders. Our approach to alien invasion is ridiculous.

 

We have now skirted issues and the house is ready to collapse.

We need work from the ground up. If I was a member of Congress I would be worried. I think the American public is ready to get rid of those dinosaurs who have been in Congress when they used pens you dipped into ink wells and add to them the people who have just learned how to put on their pants one leg at a time.

 

Our government have sold out our country and big money does not mean government of the people. We need to go back to the roots and a new coat of paint needs to be applied.

 

As far as Hilary is concerned, she is going to find out it is not a walk in the park. She has some flaws but skirting in on a skirt issue is scary. I need to hear directions where she wants the country to go before I decide. And the Republicans please get your heads out of your asses. I am sick of both parties. The independents are to loony. Somehow we will prevail with rationality. But how is beyond me.

The danger of being the President.

On November 1, 1950, Puerto Rican nationalists Griselio Torresola and Oscar Collazo attempted to assassinate Truman at Blair House. The attack, which could easily have taken the president’s life, drew new attention to security concerns surrounding Truman’s residence at Blair House. He had jumped up from a nap, and was watching the gunfight from his open bedroom window until a passerby shouted at him to take cover. On the street outside the residence, Torresola mortally wounded a White House policeman, Leslie Coffelt. Before he died, the officer shot and killed Torresola. Collazo, as a co-conspirator in a felony that turned into a homicide, was found guilty of murder and sentenced to death in 1952. Truman later commuted his sentence to life in prison. Acknowledging the importance of the question of Puerto Rican independence, Truman allowed a plebiscite in Puerto Rico in 1952 to determine the status of its relationship to the U.S.^[152][153] Nearly 82% of the people voted in favor of a new constitution.

 

 

What is strange about this incident is the running to the window and possibly giving a view to the gunman which could have resulted in Truman getting shot or killed.

The procedures to protect the president are under constant review and yet there are always flubs.

Ridding in an open car was the doom of Kennedy. How would have history been changed if he had been in a closed car. But then he did it as a photo op and that cost him his life.

And finally our current President who had a madman next to him interpreting his speech with gibberish. If this man was nuts and had decided to hurt or kill Obama he had the chance.

History seems not to teach us much. We do the same dumb things over and over.

We are a world of hatred and bitterness with occasionally sprinkles of kindness and compassion. It is a war of good versus evil and the dark swirls around the light with a ravenous look.