The thorn in my side

Things that piss me off:

People who take their dogs pass my house and then stop and let the dog crap on my lawn.  They do not have a plastic bag to pick up the crap and therefore I have a trophy from their dog.

 

This wedding in England.  First off I am not a big fan of their accent.  I have a Brooklyn accent and I am sure they would be angry with my talk process.  Millions spent on ceremony.  Big deal he will say I do, she will say I do and then they will go to seclusion and do the deed legally.  Big deal.  Do not get me wrong they should be happy but what about the expenditure considering that some English people are not doing so well economically.

 

Trump.  I do not care at this point if he concluded or not.  He is getting little done and considering how much television he watches I consider him a couch potato.

Most of his cabinet are a bunch of losers.  I could pick better people by searching the phone book.

 

The paranoia of America.  Eventually fifty countries will have nuclear weapons and some will use it.  Get ready for contaminated water and air.  It is only a matter of time.  Remember the safe houses in the back yard for nuclear safety.

Dust them off.

 

McDonalds has a commercial which makes a Black Kid look stupid. He takes this envelope to his manager who reads it for him in front of the other workers.  What if he had not gotten the scholarship?  He would have been made foolish.

 

Progressive insurance.  Am I the only guy who hates Flo.  Is that marker on her lips?

 

 

Advertisements

The world is revolving and will crash into the sun. You sun screen.

Is it me or are you also tired of this royal wedding?  Do not get me wrong.  Good luck to the couple.  I have nothing against them.  But the spectacular is pathetic.  I have more important things on my mind then what dress she is wearing.  I cannot stand the words biracial.  Who cares.  If he loves her and she him that is it for me.  I cannot understand why no one wants to walk this young lady down the aisle?  I would like to see the Queen do it.

 

Another massacre at a school.  Whether or not you like or hate Trump (there seems to be a wide gap) I am sick and tired of his “I am sorry about the incident and our prays are with those who lost loved ones.  Get over that wall and put money into safety.  You have a problem with MS 13 then go after them and leave the good Mexicans alone.  Not all of them are rapist.  Most of them just want to work and be left alone.

 

Cannot stand the news.  I do not care if Trump is guilty or not.  He is only concerned with money.  So, what.  He played politics with our enemy.  So, what.  He sold us out.  What else is new?  He screwed everyone he could.  So, he is a vile man with a penetration complex.  So, what.

So, he is a conservative who does not believe in global warming.  So, who cares.  So, the earth is going to hell.

Let it.  So many species of animals will die out.  The earth is crowded as it is.  We are a ball of anxiety heading down the path of oblivion.  These observations are true of 1930, 1942 and 1963.  Crap is in the air and no air mask will filter it.  Wellcome to 2018.  You care then vote.

Maybe it will mean something or not but give your voice a chance to change or not change things.

Is it going to be good or bad?

He awoke to a beautiful morning,

Outside the birds were performing.

Up and at them was the order of the day,

Perfect and riding smooth would not have it any other way.

 

The coffee was just right,

The pancakes and eggs a great delight.

The car had a full tank of gas and purred with zoom,

He drove to work and noted the highways empty, so much room.

 

He got to office and inserted the key,

Everyone he talked to buy the product with glee.

Perfect day and now at the end he went back home to the wife,

Even she was in a good mood and handed him no strife.

 

Perfect day and at the end he laid down to sleep,

To bad this was a dream that he did keep.

Now he was awake, and it turned to crap,

He awoke sleepy and just wanted to take a nap.

 

The alarm had not rung because he did not set it right,

The house was not clean a miserable sight.

His car was on empty and he stalled out on the road,

He got to his office and there a boss chastised him bold.

He waved his finger at him and threatened expulsion,

His life threatened with being fired and he faced disruption.

 

He went home after a day filled with vile and insults,

He went to the bar and drank till his stomach erupts.

He finally went home where the wife left him as a loser,

He did not care for he still had the effects in him of a boozer.

 

He awoke with a start for the nightmare was still in his head,

A beautiful dream and then a nightmare which will it be ahead?

He hid under the blanket for he was worried which way it would go,

But the only way to figure it out was to live out the day and see how life would flow.

 

Insults galore

Adjectives can be cruel:

Add festering to cruel and it is multiplied by two.

Add dingy to the White House and it becomes a cesspool of politics.

Add undesirable to people and you have a quarter of the nation that needs a bath.

Add pathetic to an operation and it is a dismal failure.

 

Adjectives emphasis a word and sometimes to the negative.

 

But watch out for positives.

I am positive that the plastic surgery you had failed.

I am positive that your father was a God and your mother a pig because your eyes are beautiful and complement your snout.

 

A backhand compliment which praises an attribute and condemns the negative.

You could be a hot dog eater pro.  You always looked stuff.

Great Turkey neck.  Did you get it at Thanksgiving?

Your wrinkles twinkle.

Is that a bald spot or a patch of white on your head?

You remind me of a ship in the navy.  When I look at you I want to throw up.

I did not know that Fart was a smell sold in the stores in the perfume department.

Reflections on the wall

Freezing the moments in time,

The times of your life when all was fine.

The birth certificate getting aged to yellow,

Pictures of a young man, growing up a handsome fellow.

 

Graduation day from elementary school to high,

All warped up to college, where did time go, sigh.

The pictures of my girl and I holding hands,

The photos of us getting married and the wedding bands.

 

First cars, first house, and the first prodigies from our union,

A life well spent with some love, high spots and some confusion.

Things break and are replaced, some years were the years of waste,

But some were memorable as the trips to the beach,

Some bad memories stayed and some scrubbed with bleach.

 

Life goes on and the memories hang on the wall,

So many photos of our family lingering in the hall.

The prospect of age

 

He was old and getting older as each day passed,

Slowly his friends had died off and he was the last.

His memory now afflicted with bouts of fog,

Sometimes flashes of clarity oozed out of the bog.

 

His favorite word was tsuris as all the woes he had endured,

Of all lives problems that plagued him as his life matured.

There was death plucking away loved ones with no rhyme or reason,

There was the countless days of work and toil  throughout the seasons.

 

Life was interrupted with bouts of depression and lows,

Life to him was a constant pain of emotional blows.

And now he lived in an old age home with people he did not know,

This was the end and the tsuris did fester and grow.

Across from his room was the room of an elderly man,

A man speaking in German with curses at those who gave him a hand.

Two men from different points of view,

Both men about to face the end with trepidation and with no clue.

 

For both had met each other so many years ago,

Though the fog of age had blurred that fact in shadow.

The German had worked in a camp of horror,

The Jew had escaped for he feared no tomorrow.

 

The German looked the other way,

And allowed the Jew to run away.

Two men met in a second on a field of snow,

Neither knew each other but their lives changed so long ago.

 

Now they both sat in chairs awaiting the grim reaper,

A shadow of death now coming as a black creeper.

Both died at the same second in a gasping breath,

Each welcomed the end of life with the adventure of death.