A few pointers for the morning exercise of the mind

Is subtract the way through the ocean by a uboat?

If Jack Black bounces a check is he in the red?

Can you die from gesting?  Or is this just masticating?

 

If you fall on hard times, do seconds count?

If the Wright Brothers worked on the plane which Wright brother was picked to fly and which Wright was left?

The following is a part of the Awesome song from the Lego Movie.

Blue skies, bouncy springs, we just named a two awesome things
A Nobel prize, a piece of string
You know what’s awesome? Everything!
Dogs with fleas, allergies
A book of Greek antiquities
Brand new pants, a very old vest
Awesome items are the best
Trees, frogs, clogs, they’re awesome
Rocks, clocks, and socks, they’re awesome
Figs, and jigs, and twigs, that’s awesome

Everything you see or think or say is awesome

Who came up with this list?  We equal a Nobel Price with a piece of string.  Fleas, allergies, twigs make me go whoopee! How many children relate to Greek antiquities or know what a Nobel peace prize is?

I love the song but it makes little sense.  It reminds me of the Hills are Alive, did not think they were dead.  The Sounds of Silence are not echoed by the Alps.  I left my heart in San Francisco is song by a zombie.  And who does not love Jail House Rock where the convicts sing for their supper.

In fact many things we say make little cents.  We double negative and need judges to figure out the law which is so confusing that the average guy or gal is confused by the wording.

How can a Chinese woman have junk in her trunk?

You know your old when your wrinkle cream refuses to allow the lid to screw off.

I have heard of a screwy driver, but a screw driver should be at the bar and not on the workbench.

If it is legal to smoke pot in Colorado and you are smoking it in a car traveling west, can you be arrested for being under the influence if you cross the state line?

Suppose you are in a railroad car and you are not driving.  Just in your compartment smoking weed.  The conductor spots you are under the influence.  Can you be arrested when you cross the state line and pull into the station of a state that has different laws?

Should I get a victim to fly to a state where there is no death penalty and then murder them so I would not be under the rule of an eye for an eye.

How can I bounce a check when they are flat?

How does my account have balance?  Mine seems to be leaning to the negative side.

God and the Devil

God was tired of the status quo and contacted the devil for a sit down,

They looked for a mutual safe place and finally a deli, named Limbo was found.

God sat at the upper end of the room and the Devil positioned himself at the lower sight,

God drank ambrosia and the Devil a wicked brew of rum with bite.

“What is it that you want?” God inquired of his fallen son. The Devil responded, “Peace and Quiet”

“What?” God was perplexed. The Devil expounded and said, “The souls down there are nosy and frequently riot.”

It was at that moment that God proposed a changing of the guard, for he thought I need to walk a mile in the other guy’s shoes.

What if we changed and I went to hell and you go into the heavens where the sky is so illuminated with clouds and so blue?

The Devil agreed to this noteworthy switch, an hour in heaven would be interesting to say the least,

And God did not fear the realm of hell, perhaps with his guidance and tact he could sooth the savage beast.

Upon entering heaven the Devil conned and tried to sway the souls to join him after the hour was up,

No one listened to his persuasive arguments and they treated him like an annoying pup.

But God in hell was treated like the King he is, and all joined him at the end of the hour,

In sixty minutes he and the devil switched back and to heaven all the souls of hell repented, God has that power.

The Devil did get his just desserts, the riots are gone, the souls departed,

The Devil is alone and hell is empty but then again the year has only started.

Hope

It was so simple.

To God, make the earth,

Bake the orb and then let it cool.

Add water and make oceans, lakes, and rivers.

Then sprinkle it with life forms.

Finally the main ingredient.

Man and Woman,

Give them love, and let them flourish.

But somehow it went slightly askew.

Eden eviction and then a second chance to redeem themselves.

Let them wander for a time and then send them a messiah.

Then show them is greatest love,

A sacrifice of tremendous value.

Now, what?

Simple and yet complicated.

Like a ball of yarn all tangled up.

We hang in our orbit hoping and praying for the simple times that only existed in Eden.

On to the next day and hopefully the next day.

Hope let it spread and multiply because that is what we have.

And Prayer that is the big positive in the scheme of things.

God

God was tired of the noise and put his mufflers on to drown out the whinny human race.

He wondered why he created them and maybe, just maybe they needed to be replaced.

But then there was a few, just a small handful he rejoiced at seeing and noted,

They were the cream of the crop and their pockets were not bloated.

They were the pious who used their resources with caution,

They used their words well and their actions were awesome.

 

And so he decided to keep this group, this mixture of races and people,

From all countries and over the world he liked the sound coming from the steeple.

He had given them the freedom of choice and sometimes that backfired,

But the opposite of that would be mindless clones and that is not what he desired.

 

So he took the worst and hoped for the best,

He just savored the best moments and ignored the rest.

God and the Devil

God was tired of the status quo and contacted the devil for a sit down,

They looked for a mutual safe place and finally a deli, named Limbo was found.

 

 

God sat at the upper end of the room and the Devil positioned himself at the lower sight,

God drank ambrosia and the Devil a wicked brew of rum with bite.

 

“What is it that you want?” God inquired of his fallen son. The Devil responded, “Peace and Quiet”

“What?” God was perplexed. The Devil expounded and said, “The souls down there are nosy and frequently riot.”

 

It was at that moment that God proposed a changing of the guard, for he thought I need to walk a mile in the other guys shoes.

What if we changed and I went to hell and you go into the heavens where the sky is so illuminated with clouds and so blue?

 

The Devil agreed to this noteworthy switch, an hour in heaven would be interesting to say the least,

And God did not fear the realm of hell, perhaps with his guidance and tact he could sooth the savage beast.

 

Upon entering heaven the Devil conned and tried to sway the souls to join him after the hour was up,

No one listened to his persuasive arguments and they treated him like an annoying pup.

 

But God in hell was treated like the King he is, and all joined him at the end of the hour,

In sixty minutes he and the devil switched back and to heaven all the souls of hell repented, God has that power.

 

The Devil did get his just desserts, the riots are gone, the souls departed,

The Devil is alone and hell is empty but then again the year 2014 just started.

Feelings

God imbued his creation with feelings and watched.

There was the smile and the inner feeling of contentment.

This seemed to be a positive and God noted it.

There was the frown of disappointment.

This was a negative and God noted it.

There were so many other feelings and they in turn caused other feelings.

God noted them.

The feelings morphed and created new feelings that swirled around the creation and God noted them.

At the end the souls came up to heaven and God allowed them in so heaven could be a place of feelings. Some good and some not so good. But heaven evens them out.

Then there were the feelings that were evil and destructive and God saw they could not be in heaven and expelled them to another place.

When the evil feelings come remember to suppress them and replace them with the good feelings. For heaven is a final destination that is desired and the other place is not a great place to visit or spend eternity there.

The Gift of Life

Glory be to the abundance of God’s gift to man,

Life so precious and fine like the beach’s finest sand.

 

Babies with their faces so cute and cooing to their moms,

The parents who risk all to save them from deaths arms.

 

Sacrifice is the word that comes to mind for the daily bread,

Working hard to feed the child and put a roof over the baby’s head.

 

Watching the child grow up and expand their freedoms,

Spreading over the earth in so many rich and vibrant kingdoms.

 

And then they took take up the cause of life and have their kin,

And we the grandparents sneak a peak at the newborn and peak in.

 

So is the circle of life and it goes on and hopefully on,

Family is everything, is a phrase that I am of late, fond.

 

A box of goodies on the shelf of life itself, we are thus blessed,

Opened and revealed, it is what gives life its elan and zest.

The Garden of Eden: A different perspective

The Real Garden of Eden

It is probably lost in the translation. We are depending on the Bible translations which depend on which definition that the translators use when interpreting a word that is in a language which in time has undergone many transformations. Let me give you an example. If you watched the movie True Grit you noticed how many phrases were used that we no longer use in today’s vernacular. That is only a hundred and fifty years ago. Now, imagine a few thousand years ago and the meanings could really be different.

I propose that the Garden of Eden may have existed. But I do not believe the fruit is the cause of the eviction of Adam and Eve. I believe that God would not have used an apple or fruit to tempt the two. I believe that Adam was the culprit and caused the problem. I believe that Adam ate something that caused the problem. What was it? MEAT.

Okay, I know now that you are reading this in disbelief. But do you really think that God gave rise to animals and then let them be slaughtered for food?

I believe this was the transcetion that caused the irritation God felt with man. What kind of meat? Possibly goat, pig or even sheep.

Now, let us look at the Garden of Eden’s population. That is what I said. Population. If God commanded multiply then why not. There was a bunch of descendents and they also were corrupted by the meat eating. They too also violated God’s commandment of no meat eating. No meat eating of those who are in the image of God.

The result: a corruption of the soul. The negating of God. And without a reason for Eden the ruination of the safe haven for man.

Eden

Questions on the Garden of Eden.

Each morning I awake with a thought in my head. Maybe I am like Joan of Arc with a connection I do not understand. Seriously the thoughts of a blog are inserted and I write the blog in my head before I even get to the keyboard.

Unfortunately this blog today should ruffle some feathers and I had to decide whether to post it or not. So as you read it hold it as a rash decision and do not go crazy on me.

The concept of Eden has caused me confusion for a long time. I believe in God and I believe in purpose. So there is Adam and now Eve. What do they do during the day and night? I understand they would procreate but most people do not take twenty four hours a day doing that. If I am any indication I would give it a ten minute duration. What do you do for the rest of the day?

Did Adam have to take care of the animals? Did he build a house? Did he have any hobbies? No television, no radio, and no baseball card collections, so what did he do all day? Okay he talked to Eve, but about what? You can only discuss the weather for a short period of time. Now let us assume they had kids. Did Adam have a catch with his son? Did they read the Bible? Did they converse with God? I figure they were bored.

Now God has powers, so why let the serpent in? I know he wanted to see what will happen. But if he is God, and has any thoughts he already knew what would happen. Of course they would take the bite.

I believe God knew that and it was time for them to leave Eden and have diversities. Without hardships humanity does not grow. Most of our greatest efforts are expended by the fight against a foe, a disaster, an event that causes mankind to rise above the fray.

What if God had not expelled Adam and Eve? No Bible, no flood, no Moses and no millions of other things. God allows for the closing of Eden so man can progress in the random world of change.

Man is thus thrust into a giant pinball machine. The ball is shot and now man must use the buffers and other devises to get a good score before he tilts the table or goes down the hole.

Now, I know many of you will quote scripture and condemn my soul to purgatory. But allow me my bite of the apple and I will allow you your bite. Remember we have free will and that my friend changes the whole nature of the adventure of life.

The Foods of the Gods

The Filipino pastry Food for the Gods.

The Filipino pastry Food for the Gods. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If we are in the image of God than his or her appetite must include all foods.

Each night God sat down and had a meal with his disciples and his holy sons and daughters. It is a big table in a giant hall lit by the candles of angels. The food miraculously fills the table. And for desert from The Cheese Cake Factory was a fantastic Angel Cake.

On Monday the meal was of light and darkness. The meal was lite for there was much work to be done and the darkness needed to be lifted to reveal the world as God envisioned it. Pan era Bread was eaten.

On Tuesday the meal was the waters that God put on this sphere called earth.

Some of the disciples had cod, some salmon, some tuna and a few scallops and calamari. Thus Red Lobster became a Tuesday feast.

On Wednesday the meal from the vegetables of the ground. Eggplant and squash and zucchini were ordered. Lettuce was headed up and cucumbers were cooled to a tangy taste. Tomatoes were harvested and a sauce devise was pureed. It was the concept of Olive Garden in the Biblical days.

On Thursday the meal was mainly ambrosia and moon pies for that was the sky day. Asteroids and comets flew overhead. The food was made of cosmic particles. Star fish was brewed. Saturn made onion rings. Pluto made mud pies. Neptune gave reigns of catfish and dogfish. And the restaurant of Bhog was created. (Bhog, a new restaurant in Pleasantville, N.Y., serves a variety of cuisines from the Indian subcontinent. The Name Means Food for the Gods. )

On Friday the meal was again fish but now added to that was fowl from the air. Chicken and turkey graced the tables. Chick peas was added to the bowl of plenty. Partridges sang in the pear tree while robin breast was sauteed in soy sauce. And the birth of Golden Coral was birthed.

On Saturday the feast was in full swing. Meat was added from steers to exotic animals of four legs. Leg of lamb, frogs legs, rack of ram, and venison meat was in abundance. And the milk of the cows made cheese of all types. There was the holy cheese that eventually would be called Swiss. An the concept of the Melting Pot was born.

Finally Sunday and the exhaustion to the disciples was on their angelic faces.

All food was at their disposal. But soon the real work would be at hand. For now there was a new creature on the earth and that creature was man.

My purpose was not to offend.  Please take this in the purpose it was intended and not to seriously.