Catholic Wedding Vows. “I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.” “I, ___, take you, ___, to be my husband/wife.

 

Jewish wedding vows : Reform

“Do you, ______, take ______ to be your wife/husband, promising to cherish and protect her/him, whether in good fortune or in adversity, and to seek together with her/him a life hallowed by the faith of Israel?”

Conservative

“Do you, ______, take ______ to be your lawfully wedded wife/husband, to love, to honor, and to cherish?”

Buddhist: wedding vows

________ and ________, are happy today not only because they can share the joy of their love for each other with friends and family, but also because they have the opportunity to express their aspirations for the future.

________ and ________, do you pledge to help each other to develop your hearts and minds, cultivating compassion, generosity, ethics, patience, enthusiasm, concentration and wisdom as you age and undergo the various ups and downs of life and to transform them into the path of love, compassion, joy and equanimity?

“We do”

 

Hindu Wedding Vows

by the knot

A traditional Hindu wedding ceremony is elaborate and complex, incorporating fifteen specific rituals. There are no vows in the Western sense, but the Seven Steps, or Saptha Padhi, around a flame (honoring the fire god Agni) spell out the promises the couple makes to each other:

“Let us take the first step to provide for our household a nourishing and pure diet, avoiding those foods injurious to healthy living.”

“Let us take the second step to develop physical, mental, and spiritual powers.”

“Let us take the third step to increase our wealth by righteous means and proper use.”

“Let us take the fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness, and harmony by mutual love and trust.”

“Let us take the fifth step so that we are blessed with strong, virtuous, and heroic children.”

“Let us take the sixth step for self-restraint and longevity.”

“Finally, let us take the seventh step and be true companions and remain lifelong partners by this wedlock.”

 

 

atheist wedding readings

I promise to love you, respect you, support you, and above all else, make sure I’m not just yelling at you because I’m hungry.

Reading for wedding
Which vow did you take?
In the end it is the years shared, the children produced and the love that remains eternal.
Image result for a picture of two old people in love

A poem of falling in love.

I stumbled when I was a kid. Could not walk a straight line and chew gum at the same time.

I fell down just before I tried to kick the goal in soccer and missed the goal post by a dime.

I tumbled getting out of my seat my it was my time to receive my diploma from the dean.

The kids felt my fall was great and applauded my feat, boy were my parents upset and mean.

I fell for the first girl who would give me a kiss on the lips,

I did cartwheels and tumbles and fantastic flips.

But I hit my nose and made a bloody scene,

I split my pants and I am afraid I was obscene.

And then I fell for you in a big way.

And I never regretted that fall to my dying day.

Image result for a cartoon picture of falling in love

More name calling!

Did Emily Post her mail?

Did Johnny Depp go deep in the sea?

Was David Frost frosty to his guest?

Did Edgar Guest ever have a guest he did not like?

Did Edith Bunker live in the Bunker residence?

Does Robin Williams reincarnate to be the Robin at my window?

Did Morgan Freeman ever enslaved?

Did Edward Booth who assassinated Lincoln realize that he did the action in a booth?

Did Emilia Earhart lose her heart in the South Pacific?

Was Lucy Lawless on the lam?

Was Fred Flintstone a spark in the darkness?

Names should be rational. They should describe something you do. Carpenter should work with wood. But Karen Carpenter was a singer?

Was Lefty Glove a left handed person? A Schwartz is a tailor and his children are his stitches. His cousin should be a zip line.

We have Indian names which are extremely descriptive and sometimes not flattering.

Ashwin: A strong horse.

The name “Geronimo” is of Italian origin and it means “Holy Name”. It’s a name

commonly given to boys.

Image result for a picture of geronimo

So Geronimo is Italian and most Americans associate it with the Indian.  Does the guy above look Italian?

We constantly are mixing up names. What are some insane names from your group.

What is in a name?

USAAF recruitment poster.

USAAF recruitment poster. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Names in our vocabulary that make you think.

Dr. Mudd. He is real. He is the doctor who worked on John Wilkes Booth who assassinated Abraham Lincoln.

Captain Kidd. A real pirate who eventually was hung. Any no I am not kidding you.

Richard Ira “Dick” Bong (September 24, 1920 – August 6, 1945) is the United States‘ highest-scoring air ace, having shot down at least 40 Japanese aircraft during World War II. He was a fighter pilot in the U.S. Army Air Forces (USAAF) and a recipient of the Medal of Honor. All of his aerial victories were in the P-38 Lightning fighter aircraft.

Doctor No. He was in the James Bond film of the same name and no he is not real.

Yahoo Serious is real and an Australian film actor and director. He did Young Einstein.

Thursday October Christian (1790 – 1831) was the first son of Fletcher Christian (leader of the mutiny on the HMAV Bounty) and his Tahitian wife Maimiti. In my case I would be Monday December Wax. Weird. I guess better than Tuesday Weld.

Dick Assman (1934 – ) is a Saskatchewan petrol station owner whose name propelled him to celebrity status across North America in 1995. Assman, who worked at Petro-Canada’s Victoria Square Mall station in Regina, was discovered by David Letterman.

Tiger Woods. Need I say more, and mean he is par for the course and a definite hole in one.

A crumby experience and a Boop

Fritz the Cat is a comic strip created by Robert Crumb. Set in a “supercity” of anthropomorphic animals, the strip focuses on Fritz, a feline con artist who frequently goes on wild adventures that sometimes involve sexual escapades. Crumb began drawing this character in homemade comic books when he was a child.
Fritz the Cat
Accompanying the title is a graphic of Fritz the Cat with arms folded and a satisfied smile on his face, and the words: "Fritz is a sophisticated, up-to-the-minute young feline college student who lives in a modern supercity of millions of animals... Yes, not unlike people in their manners and morals.

 

 

 

 

Image result for a picture of Betty Boop
Betty Boop made her first appearance on August 9, 1930, in the cartoon Dizzy Dishes the seventh installment in Fleischer’s Talkartoon series. Although Clara Bow is often given as being the model for Boop,[10] she actually began as a caricature of singer Helen Kane. The character was originally created as an anthropomorphic French poodle.[11] Betty Boop appeared as a supporting character in ten cartoons as a flapper girl with more heart than brains. In individual cartoons, she was called “Nancy Lee” or “Nan McGrew” – derived from the 1930 Helen Kane film Dangerous Nan McGrew – usually serving as a girlfriend to studio star, Bimbo.

Is it safe to pick up hitchhikers

 

It is true although I may have overreacted.  I was driving from the college where I was teaching a night class back to my home.  The college is in Tampa and my home is in Winter Haven, Florida.

I take I 4 and it is about twenty five miles.  About five miles into the journey I see a man, about forty hitchhiking on the side of the road.  I normally do not like to pick up hitch hikers but I did.  He asked for a lift to Lake Land about ten miles down the road.

I thought I was doing a good deed.  He asked me a few questions which for some reason I felt uncomfortable answering.  All of a sudden he was an inquisitor and I felt I was under pressure to respond.

I mentioned I was a professor.  Now I am a male so I was not afraid of him in some ways.  But then he said, “Boy am I hungry”

I could see there was a McDonald’s up the road and got off.  I do not know why but I felt unsafe.  Just a feeling.  The hair on the back of my bald head was sticking up.  I pulled up to the McDonald’s and saw there was a line of cars at the pickup window so I parked handed him a ten spot and told him to go in and get us some hamburgers, fries and a couple of cokes.  He was pleased as punch and went inside.

I do not know why. Maybe I was not really hungry at ten at night.  Maybe I did not want a greasy burger.  But I do know I did not want this stranger back in my car questioning me, eating greasy hamburgers, and in the back of my mind asking for some more money.  I assume it was my paranoia and I let it get the better of me.

As soon as he entered the place I peeled off and got back on the road, leaving him with the money, food, and the idea that he won something.

Was I nuts?  What would you have done?

Since then I have not picked up anyone.  Better safe than sorry.

Image result for a cartoon of a hitchhiker

A horror story in space and time ala The Twilight Zone

He awoke with a start and as his eyes focused, fear, raw and base gripped his soul.  His vision was blurred as if there was a plastic shield in front of his eyes.  And then he realized the truth.  He was embedded in a suit of some type.  His mind rebelled and he tried to scream.  He felt the fear of claustrophobia.

Then the voice came into his brain.  “You are okay, breathe deeply and control your mind?  The voice was reassuring and he took control.  He breathed in and out with regularity.  He tried to assess his situation.  Slowly he realized that he was encased in a covering of a form of jelly.  It was everywhere and yet air was going to his lungs.  He felt no pain.  But there was the inner toil of wanting to be free of the wrappings.

“Will your body to absorb the jelly that surrounds you.” Said the voice.

He did as he was told.  And in a moment the jelly substance was absorbed into his body.  He was free and found himself sitting in a chair of metal.

“Where am I?”  he said aloud.

“You were chosen.  Food is on the table in the room.  Eat and then we will talk.  The voice stopped.

He called for it to respond to questions but there was only silence.

“Talk to me.”  He yelled over and over.   But to no avail.

He walked over to the table and looked at the table.  It was filled with fruit of all sorts.  He was famished and although quite perturbed sat down and eat.  While feasting, he looked around the room.  It was small with only the chair he had been in and the table with the food on it and a chair where he currently sat.

He ate the fruit and the water that he poured into the glass on the table.   Then he felt the wave of exhaustion.   He put his head onto the table and within moments entered a drugged sleep.  He awoke not realizing how long he was out.

He looked around the room and now noticed a screen in the room.  It was large and then it went on.

There was a shadow deep in a mist on the screen and it talked, “I realize that you are puzzled and frighten by what has happened to you.   Let us go to the chase.  We are from a distant planet many miles out of your system.  We decided to contact your planet and to accomplish that mission we abducted a few humans and are sending them to our planet for communication.  We will then come up with a plan to talk to your planet.  We have viewed your movies and saw how you viewed aliens.  Sometimes in war and sometimes with amusing peace.  But movies gave us your language but we needed real input and we took six of your race to travel to our planet.  You were chosen as were the other five.  The trip was long and we had to encase you in a protection barrier to avoid pressure problems.  But now we approach our planet and it is time for you to meet the others.”

With that their appeared an opening and two humans entered the room.

One was a young lady about his age.  The other was a little girl.

“You said six, this is three.”  He questioned the screen.

“I am sorry to say that the other three did not survive.  We are left with three and hope this will suffice.  I will allow you contact with your fellow members.”

Over the course of days, maybe weeks, maybe years they developed relationships.  There were no time pieces in the rooms and they never knew if it was day or night.  When they went to sleep, the room would get darker and they slept.  When they awoke, the rooms got lighter.  Time held no context.

Neither of them remembered their past lives.  They could not even remember their names.  The man called himself Jessie, the woman Mia and the little girl who seemed to age faster was called Star.

Star’s function was to go to a small room and perform tasks.  She was monitored and evaluated.  The aliens seemingly trying to get a way into how mankind thought.

Soon the sleeping arrangements changed as Jessie demanded a bed.

It miraculously appeared in a corner of the sparse room.  It was a king-sized bed, comfortable and had two pillows.  Everything was white.  Color seemed not in existence here.  Jessie demanded clothes and clothes appeared on the bed.  White pants and white tops.  Jessie demanded a private place for a bathroom and part of the room was walled off and a toilet bowl appeared.  A sink and a shower was next.  The aliens got the concepts off the programs they said they saw.

Then one night it happened.  Mia appeared in Jessie’s bed and the inevitable occurred.

Time passed.  The girl appeared to be about twenty now.  She rarely came out.  Jessie and Mia were alone a lot together.  They spoke but it was quiet talk.

They never confided in each other their deep thoughts.  They needed each other physically but emotionally they were drained.  Fear dominated their brains and what could overcome that.

Then one day, the screen went on.  From the mist the aliens spoke.  Jessie could never make them out.  No features.  Just a shadow in the mist.

“We are at the end.  We have learned from the girl all we can.  She has fulfilled our need.”

“I wonder how come you have not asked me any questions?” asked Jessie.

“Because that was not what we needed you for.”

“I do not understand.  What was my purpose to you.?”

“To produce with Mia.”

Jessie looked over to Mia.  She smiled.  He realized at that moment she was with child.

“I am excited.  But a little frightened.”  Jessie confessed.

“Do not be frightened, my dear.  Your function was to procreate with me so our child would be the ambassador to your world.”

“I do not understand,” Jessie was puzzled.

“I took this form so we could mate.  I was not picked up from your planet.  I am one of them.  I child will be the product of both of us.  Half human and half alien.”

“You took this form?  What are you?   We are a race like your spiders.  The Black Widow spider would be closest.  And like the Black Widow, I have mated, the egg sack inside me has produced hunger and I need to consume food.

I need meat and the only meat on this ship is you.  That is why you were selected and now …. She changed in front of him to her real form.  Terror gripped him as she came towards him.  There was pain and then eternal sleep.”