Words and their expressions are in a state of chaos.

Should one be able to see through a sheer cliff?

Should cliff notes be about cut through mountains?

If in French rue is street why do we rue and feel sad? Is it a sad street?

Why is an eagle’s nest an aerie and the house on elm street eerie?

Did Della Street from Perry Mason imply masonry on her block?

I have terrible confusion between my id, my ego and my superego. Which one dominates me when I am in rem?

In France is de luge a flood of emotions?

When a person is lost at sea and then found is he sea sick?

Does the crow actually live in the crow’s nest?

How does sea men reproduce if they are at sea?

Are humans allergic to algae?

I never can tell the difference between gators and crocs. Are they the same species?

I remember an actor named X Brands. He signed contracts with an X.

Why is Elsie the Cow on Elmer’s glue? Is it possible that cow parts were originally used in the making of the glue? If that is true then I am unglued towards the glue manufactures that milked her dry.

Viagra states if you had arousal for over four hours you should seek medical help. Question what do you tell the 9-11 operator? Is it in the record books? And how would the girl explain it to her parents?

Does Parker as a first name indicate a person who parks, like a valet?

Does a carpenter carp and complain like an old woman who has a splinter?

Is Split Hairs the name of a Barber Shop?

Is Lucky Pot the name of a shop in Colorado? How about Pot Luck as an appertizer?

Why is it Luck be a Lady Tonight? Why not a man tonight? Why is Luck considered with a female twinge?

Punning for fun. Sometimes you gotta just have fun.

Manatee. The man having tea or playing golf”

Can one play golf in the gulf”

Weave on said the man making the quilt.

Sometimes the words are tongue tied and we wonder what kind of knot is tongue tied.

The range of the buffalo on the range varies with the sound of the herd as it is heard on the range.

Strange but true the turf wars are not fought with tooth and nail but dirt with spades.

Why is David Spade white, I thought spades are black. I know a joke which is politically incorrect. But then when have politics really been correct.

Is hell where the soul is incarcerated for eternity with no chance of parole?

Is he automatically in heaven?

Is he automatically in hell?

Both start with he, why not her, herven, and herell?

Call me Ismael and I will not respond? Call me late for diner and I will.

How does she come around the mountain on six white horses, is she in the circus?

Is supper super and what is it called if eaten by the superintendent? Super supper for the super.

I pun you knot.

 

Awesome

Is subtract the way through the ocean by a uboat?

If Jack Black bounces a check is he in the red?

Can you die from gesting? Or is this just masticating?

 

If you fall on hard times, do seconds count?

If the Wright Brothers worked on the plane which Wright brother was picked to fly and which Wright was left?

The following is a part of the Awesome song from the Lego Movie.

Blue skies, bouncy springs, we just named a two awesome things
A Nobel prize, a piece of string
You know what’s awesome? Everything!
Dogs with fleas, allergies
A book of Greek antiquities
Brand new pants, a very old vest
Awesome items are the best
Trees, frogs, clogs, they’re awesome
Rocks, clocks, and socks, they’re awesome
Figs, and jigs, and twigs, that’s awesome

Everything you see or think or say is awesome

Who came up with this list? We equal a Nobel Price with a piece of string. Fleas, allergies, twigs make me go whoopee! How many children relate to Greek antiquities or know what a Nobel peace prize is?

I love the song but it makes little sense. It reminds me of the Hills are Alive, did not think they were dead. The Sounds of Silence are not echoed by the Alps. I left my heart in San Francisco is song by a zombie. And who does not love Jail House Rock where the convicts sing for their supper.

In fact many things we say make little cents. We double negative and need judges to figure out the law which is so confusing that the average guy or gal is confused by the wording.

How can a Chinese woman have junk in her trunk?

You know your old when your wrinkle cream refuses to allow the lid to screw off.

I have heard of a screwy driver, but a screw driver should be at the bar and not on the workbench.

If it is legal to smoke pot in Colorado and you are smoking it in a car traveling west, can you be arrested for being under the influence if you cross the state line?

Suppose you are in a railroad car and you are not driving. Just in your compartment smoking weed. The conductor spots you are under the influence. Can you be arrested when you cross the state line and pull into the station of a state that has different laws?

Should I get a victim to fly to a state where there is no death penalty and then murder them so I would not be under the rule of an eye for an eye.

How can I bounce a check when they are flat?

How does my account have balance? Mine seems to be leaning to the negative side.

Con two

The art of the Con: Believe in me and I will grant heal you.

The old Indian medicine man trick. He would take the sick into a sweat lodge and do incantations in there. The poison of the diseased person would sweat out.

Two things could happen. One the person got well and that meant the medicine man was powerful. Or two the person got sicker or died. Which meant that they lacked the belief in the medicine man and it was therefore their fault that they got sicker or died.

Either way the medicine man was the winner.

 

It is a way of looking at life. Stop blaming the medicine man. If you want to change then change and nothing will stop you but you. You are the captain of that ship and where the ship goes is your decision.

 

 

Places and things out of place.

Can aqua man swim in jello?

Can superman have sex with a human or is automatic death for the woman with a thrust of his hips?

If a werewolf mates in human form would his off spring morph since its blood is tainted.

Can one be ambidextrous with their feet?

Where exactly is somewhere?

I have heard of the A male, but what about the d face? Is it a mar on the visage of humanity?

How hot are aces in the hole? Are not all cards whole cards?

What do you feed a steel horse I ride?

Would the knights of old wear aluminum shield?

FBI agents are to shield the president of the United States. If an FBI agent was gay would he therefore be a panty shield?

If Dee is in the can, is she candy?

Is substance subpar on its stance?

What are the tricks at the White House for Halloween? Would you be arrested, interrogated and imprisoned?

If a human has a sty in his eye what about a pig? Could it have a sty in its eye and be in a sty?

Como is how in Spanish. Was Perry Como Spanish and how was Perry?

Which would you like to be stabbed with, an epee, a saber or board sword? Answer and I wonder why you wish to be stabbed.

Ramblings of the mind, and mind your manners.

One man’s art is another man’s disaster with a medium.

A crayon can be used for art but I have never seen a crayon picture in the museum.

What medium does a con artist use?

If misery loves company why do people who are deep in misery want to be alone?

Should not candy be in the can? And only eaten by a girl named Dee?

I have never met a girl named Bambi.

Is Hotel a hot Latino el.

Some people go to college for so long it should be named collage.

I have seen rainbows but never rain in the rainbow, nor bows.

“I am so over time that I retired from it” said Father Time.

I predict the future but most of the time I am wrong said Nostradamus. But people read into me and make it right.

I am afraid I could not wait to fire and see the whites of their eyes because they were so blood shot that there was no whites.

I passed a screwdriver on the road. He was weaving in and out and driving a six pack.

I have eaten strawberries and found no straws in them.

I have not understood the concept of a discount for you need to spend money you do not have to get it and therefore the people on the fringe cannot get discounts but the people with money can.

Do we really want a flashlight that only flashes?

I never understood “Beam me Up” because in space there is no up or down.

How do they know that in space you cannot hear a scream? Did a space person remove their helmet and scream?

Now terrorists morph, first one group and now another group. They even advertise for members. The mind boggles.

Meat

Adam and Eve had lunch.

Bananas and apples and pears from the trees.

And then one day Adam was convinced by Eve to eat meat.

He looked at the peaceful animals milling about and choose a lamb.

Both had lamb chops and disobeyed the law of the land.

For the lamb was by God a gift to view and gaze upon.

And now one of the flock was eaten and God therefore was displeased.

And God said, “You have eaten a peaceful animal who gave you no harm.”

“Get out of Eden and repent your sin to me!”

And so mankind has never been able to go back to Eden while he insists on eating the innocent of the world. This story was pushed by the the people who say, “What is for dinner?”

My rambling mind

Does the toucan have one can or two?

Imagine man with a beck, talons and an elephant nose? We could have been a different looking humanoid.

Did they have mosquitoes in the Garden of Eden?

Some is an interesting word, sometimes, and somewhere and somebody.

Think of all the people with last names that are occupations. Somewhere along the line one relative must have done the job.

Lots of people have son at the end of their last name. Jefferson, Johnson and so on. No daughters. How about Lincolnter, Integer, and Nixonter? Does not have the ring to it.

You can have an ex, an exmate, an exjob, an exlover and being exed out can be extreme.

Should not the cell phone be exclusive to con artists who are in jail cells?

What kind of work does a con artist do? Oils or sculpture?

Do they sell cleavers in Cleveland?

E is an interesting letter, email, etrade, ebay and ecoli.

If a horse is in a stall how do you start him?

I have an idle attitude and need to ignite my ignition.

Imagine there was an eight day to the week. What would we call it Octoday?

Can the afterbirth have a different birthday than you? Placenta eaters note there is a date of expiration on the afterbirth.

We just had the Oscars and as usual I did not watch it. I rarely see the movies they nominate anyway. I go to the movies to get away from reality and not see the grime of life. Do I really want to see a movie about a Sniper that is as real as it can get? If you go are you scoping the movie out?

Women roaring and a woman Soaring.

1937 American aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart disappears in the Central Pacific during an attempt to fly around the world.

Aviator Amelia Earhart was born on July 24, 1897 in Atchison, Kansas. In 1923, Earhart, fondly known as “Lady Lindy,” became the 16th woman to be issued a pilot’s license. She had several notable flights, becoming the first woman to fly across the Atlantic Ocean in 1928, as well as the first person to fly over both the Atlantic and Pacific. In 1937, she mysteriously disappeared while trying to circumnavigate the globe from the equator. Since then, several theories have formed regarding Earhart’s last days, many of which have been connected to various artifacts that have been found on Pacific islands—including clothing, tools and, more recently, freckle cream. Earhart was legally declared dead in 1939.

I do not know why but certain things stand out to me. I heard that Earhart had been asked by our country to scout the Pacific to validate the movements of the Japanese. There was conviction that Japan was making moves and she was to report on them.

Note on the article: freckle cream. What is it?

Researchers for The International Group for Historic Aircraft Recovery found the jar, broken into five pieces, on a remote island in the Pacific republic of Kiribati, giving support to theories that the uninhabited island became Earhart’s final resting place, Discovery News reports.

When reassembled, the jar resembles early 20th century containers for Dr. C. H Berry’s Freckle Ointment, a cream that was used to fade freckles.

Joe Cerniglia, the researcher who recognized the connection between the jars, said that Earhart was not a fan of her spots.

“It’s well-documented Amelia had freckles and disliked having them,” Cerniglia told Discovery News.

Now that is that. The forensics are in. My question is if Earhart used it would there be traces of her DNA so the connection would be exact? Just a thought.

Expressions under Fire

Why do we say the nerve of some people when all people have nerves?

Why do we say the gut reaction when it is just your stomach and is not able to decipher circumstances?

Why do we say our prayers are with you when we try to comfort someone?

Why do we not speak badly of the dead when in truth they were not nice at all?

Is anyone amazed that all babies are cute?
We use the words dull to describe someone with no personality but in essence their personality is dull and therefore that is what they have.

We call it the arm of the law but their arms are usually in proportion to other people.

Can a person sitting in the back of the room be the head of the class?

Why do we say that there are other fish in the sea, when we are consoling someone who just broke up with someone? Did they break up with a fish or someone who looked like a fish? And will they be satisfied with another fish? Fishy to me, I say.

Why do we say people are in a pickle when in reality they are not inside a pickle just in a mess?

You never know what is in a box of chocolates is incorrect for it is usually on the box.

Revenge is a plate served cold, but I never see the plate and I do not know whether the umpire is calling strikes or balls.
Can Joy be depressed?

Can Mary not be contrary?

Do pigs fly when they are transported by a plane?

Does Gridley know how close the enemy is, if he waits to see the whites of their eyes and suppose they have blue eyes or worse yet blood shot eyes?