Smut in the morning

 

Sometimes we turn a children’s ditty around and come up with a different version.  Below three maids in a tub at the fair was a peep show.  The maids scantly clothed and the three men peepers.  Kids did not know this, and the result was it got cleaned up by Mother Goose.

 

Hey! rub-a-dub, ho! rub-a-dub, three maids in a tub,
And who do you think were there?
The butcher, the baker, the candlestick-maker,
And all of them gone to the fair.

 

There are several variants of the following joke:

A pilot returning from a mission could not locate his aircraft carrier and in addition failed to establish secure communication. So he circled around the formation and radioed: “Rub a dub dub, where is my tub?” And received: “Hey Diddle Diddle! Right here in the middle!”

Some memoirs claim it was a real incident.

 

There was an old lady living in a shoe, she had so many children she did not know what to do.

Obviously she did know what to do, but tube tying in those days was just not done.  She should have used the rhythm method as instructed by Guy Lombardo. 

 

A brief history lesson on the condom

200 A.D.

Cave paintings dating back to the year 200 A.D. depict condom use, the earliest known visual evidence of their use.  Caveman porn?

1500s

An Italian doctor by the name of Gabrielle Fallopius (for whom, coincidentally, the female fallopian tube was named) suggested that linen sheath condoms be used to protect against syphilis, a deadly epidemic at that time in history. 

1640s

Some researcher s believes that farmers in Condom, France began using sheep guts as condoms, possibly the origin of the lambskin condom—as well as the device’s eponymous name. Learn more about

1660s

Another group believes that the term “condom” was coined when Charles II was given oiled sheep intestines to use as condoms by a physician named, unsurprisingly, Dr. Condom. However, other insist that the “condom” came from the Latin word condus which simply means “vessel.”  Therefore three condom vessels found the new world.

1774

The infamous Giacomo Casanova wrote about his method of testing condoms in his memoir, detail how he would blow them up to test for holes and tears.  I wonder if they made a hiss when broken. 

 

 

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